In The End (story of my struggle)
by Heartbreak-Hallie
Summary: They didn't have a music category. Enjoy.


**"In The End" by Linkin Park**

(It starts with one)  
One thing I don't know why  
It doesn't even matter how hard you try  
Keep that in mind, I designed this rhyme  
To explain in due time  
(All I know)  
Time is a valuable thing  
Watch it fly by as the pendulum swings  
Watch it count down to the end of the day  
The clock ticks life away  
(It's so unreal)  
Didn't look out below  
Watch the time go right out the window  
Trying to hold on but didn't even know  
I wasted it all just to watch you go

I kept everything inside and even though I tried, it all fell apart  
What it meant to be will eventually be a memory of a time when...

I tried so hard  
And got so far  
But in the end  
It doesn't even matter  
I had to fall  
To lose it all  
But in the end  
It doesn't even matter

One thing, I don't know why  
It doesn't even matter how hard you try  
Keep that in mind, I designed this rhyme  
To remind myself how  
I tried so hard  
In spite of the way you were mocking me  
Acting like I was part of your property  
Remembering all the times you fought with me  
I'm surprised it got so (far)  
Things aren't the way they were before  
You wouldn't even recognize me anymore  
Not that you knew me back then  
But it all comes back to me  
In the end

You kept everything inside and even though I tried, it all fell apart  
What it meant to me will eventually be a memory of a time when...

I tried so hard  
And got so far  
But in the end  
It doesn't even matter  
I had to fall  
To lose it all  
But in the end  
It doesn't even matter

I've put my trust in you  
Pushed as far as I can go  
For all this  
There's only one thing you should know  
I've put my trust in you  
Pushed as far as I can go  
For all this  
There's only one thing you should know

I tried so hard  
And got so far  
But in the end  
It doesn't even matter  
I had to fall  
To lose it all  
But in the end  
It doesn't even matter

**This song has a more in-depth meaning to me. There was this guy who I liked, who at first I saw as an accepting person. However, over time I found that there were a lot of things he didn't like about me, so I tried to change all that to impress him. Now, I didn't have to do that, but I did. I tore myself apart and kept messaging him to tell him how I feel. But each time was exactly the same, and with each time my energy decreased, there was rarely a smile on my face anymore, my entire demeanor changed. What if he wasn't a real person after all? What if all he said were lies? And I'll bet they were. Because of him, I was doing all I can to become someone I'm not. And I was getting nothing for it, yet, around other people I tried to be myself again and I got more satisfaction. He tells me to be myself around him, but I know I have a lot of disliked qualities that I am too scared to show. To him, I was "too shy"; I "give up too easily". Well, little does he know, I have reasons to give up. I give up so that I can breathe, so that I can relax and not give all my time to something not worth the effort, if I'm not even going to get praised for it. I give up because there were some times I tried too hard to where it depressed me, and I do not want to repeat that. Obviously, if he wants me to stop being depressed, he better get over his problem of my giving up. And about the "too shy" thing, so the hell what? I am shy, I will most likely forever be shy, and that's just who I am. But that doesn't mean I talk to no one. I just have a harder time opening up because there are limited people to whom I can trust. I do not want to be friends with everyone, just people who I can feel comfortable around, and if he has a problem with this, well, he's not even worth the effort. I have people who love me for the shy, easily frustrated me. Now, about the whole "preferences" thing, and the fact that I am not mentally strong; he thinks that he'll be at his happiest with someone who is of a certain race? And he won't give anyone else even a sliver of a chance? That, my friend, is shallow. Very, very shallow. Now, there is a bit of a problem there. You see, every girl in every country is just about the same. We all have our perks and we all have our down days, but truthfully, every girl tears themselves apart to be with someone they cannot even have and all because the guys base their preferences on a certain appearance or race. I met a guy who fell in love with me, not because of how I look, but because I made him smile. I saved his live. He was a cutter before he met me, and I got him to stop. Because of me giving him a chance, it changed his whole outlook on life. And he was younger than me, afraid that because I have been chasing this one guy that I wasn't even going to look in his direction. But, unlike that one guy, I gave the other boy a chance. Sure, we had our on and offs, but he loved me for me, regardless of race, mentality strength, shyness, and frustration. So, as the song suggests, I did try hard to impress that guy, and got nothing in return. In the end, though, it didn't matter, because I found someone worth it.**


End file.
